Otter Island Episode 8 Cast: Narrator Astlegar Tristan Mouse Blander Mardam Khaled Mage 1 Mage 2 Tak Blalok Sayna Kahuna Tektek Spy Nexicul-nageel Oren Ashen Fox (Insert usual intro) Scene 1: Astlegar's castle, distant past. Narrator: Sometimes it's difficult to know where to begin a story. So the proverb was coined: It's best to begin at the beginning. Doing so with today's story takes us into the distant past. It is a time when magic is much more common and wizards use their powers to dominate mankind. The place is the laboratory of the good magician Astlegar. Of course, Astlegar is only called "good magician" because he insists on it. Wizards tend to get their way. In Astlegar's lab is a ruddy-skinned boy by the name of... Astlegar: TRISTAN! Tristan: Yes, Master? Astlegar: Tristan, have you finished cleaning the specemin jars? Tristan: Yes, Sir. Astlegar: And chopping the newt tails. Did you do that? Tristan: Yes, Master. Astlegar: And polishing the wands? Tristan: I... I haven't gotten to that, master. I'm still working on the chest of enchantments. Astlegar: Well... I suppose that would explain THIS! Tristan: Sir? Astlegar: Look at this wand, boy! What is this all over the end of it? Tristan: Coffee, Sir. Astlegar: And how did it get there? Tristan: You used the wand to stir your coffee, master. Right after you used the heat spell to heat it up. Astlegar: So you're saying that it was MY fault? Tristan: Actually... yes, master. Astlegar: Insolent child! Perhaps spending an hour as a sewer rat would teach you some respect. Tristan: But master, I... Astlegar: morphus corpore transmuto! Tristan: (Squeaks) Astlegar: Hang it all, I got the grammar mixed up again. Look what you made me do. I'm so flustered that I cast a half-effective spell. Aaaaah ("aaaaah" rises in volume, like a yowl), it's just as well. This way, you can still move furniture. Tristan: Move? Where, master? are we leaving? Astlegar: We are. Look here, into the crystal ball. Tristan: I see an island. Astlegar: Not just any island. This is the most magical spot on planet Earth. Other wizards are moving there to add to their magical powers and prowess. But do you think any of them told Astlegar? Tristan: I... no? Astlegar: Shut up, rat-boy. That was a rhetorical question. I had to find out for myself. I might never have known if it weren't for the conspicuous absence of Lord Horbane, Madam Tolinth and Selfim the red. Bring me the teleport cabinets. I'm going ahead to scout a location. When I have found a suitable site, I will teleport you with one of the cabinets. You will then begin moving my belongings. Tristan: May I use the shrink charm, master? It would make the entire process much faster. Astlegar: (enraged) No you may not use the shrink charm! And if I catch you doing so, I'll chop off your tail and see what happens when you return to human form. Tristan: Understood, Sir. Tristan: (mumbles to self while walking away) Mouse: Hey, Tristan! I love the new look! It makes you look more intelligent. Tristan: I'm glad you like it, mouse. Mouse: was it supposed to be a punishment? Tristan: In Astlegar's mind, it is. Fortunately, I've gotten used to being turned into some of the more fluffy animals. I even enjoy it. It's getting turned into a toad or a lizard that I can't take. Mouse: I just don't get it. You're supposed to be his apprentice, aren't you? But he treats you like a slave. Tristan: That's just his way. He's used to being authoritarian. Mouse: Has he ever taught you a spell? Ever? Tristan: No. But he doesn't have to. I've been teaching myself magic. Mouse: I know. If you weren't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Tristan: And I've got something new... I made it for you. Mouse: A cork? Tristan: I enchanted it. Put this near stone and the stone will become as soft as cork. I made it so that you can enlarge your mousehole. Mouse: Gee thanks... but how did you learn to make this? Tristan: I've been reading the master's books. Mouse: You can read? Tristan: I taught myself. Don't tell Astlegar. Mouse: As if I wanted him to know I can talk. No thanks. I'd rather have my whiskers pulled. Astlegar: (distant) TRISTAN! WHERE'S THAT CABINET? Tristan: Coming, master! Astlegar: I want to get moving! Don't you dare keep me waiting! Tristan: Oh my, this is heavy! I can barely budge it like this! Astlegar: TRISTAN! Tristan: I haven't any choice. I have to use a cuff of strength. I'll... I'll put it on my tail. That way, he might not see it. There. And UPSY-DAISY! Astlegar: I'M WAITING! Tristan: Here I am, Master! Astlegar: Put the cabinet into the circle I've drawn on the floor. Stand next to it and don't move until I summon you. What is that on your tail, boy? Tristan: Nothing, Sir! Astlegar: NOTHING? That looks like a cuff of strength to me! give it here, boy! Tristan: Yes, Sir. Here you are. Astlegar: Hmm. Just a common leather band. Very well for you. Had I caught you using my cuffs I'd have given you forty lashes. Wait here. (loud POOF! with a simultaneous metalic PRANG!) Tristan: Take your time coming back, you mean thing. As if I need to use YOUR cuff. With what I'm learning about enchantment, soon, I won't need to use YOUR anything. Scene 2: pre-sentient Otter Island, morning Blander: Ah, Astlegar! Glad to see you could make it! Astlegar: You can stow the pleasantries, Blander. I know you'd like to kill me so that you can take my collection of rooster eggs. Blander: Oh, come now. If the hundred most powerful people in the world can't act civil despite our past squabbles, what hope is there for the world? Besides, while rooster eggs are very useful in potions, I really don't deal in potions any more. Astlegar: Oh? What is it now? Blander: Magical slaves. Astlegar: I beg your pardon? Blander: I'm collecting fairies and other such magical beings to do my bidding. My menagerie is getting quite extensive. why, at this moment, a kitsune is setting up my lab while a leprichaun is cooking brunch. Astlegar: You're lying. No one can control a kitsune or a leprichaun. Certainly not and leave them alone! Blander: So they would have you believe. But what is the difference between a leprichaun and a wizard? Astlegar: Five feet? Blander: free... will. They have to folow the rules. The trick is figuring out how to BE the one who MAKES the rules. Do that, and you can master any fairy. Even Oberon himself. Astlegar: I don't believe you. Blander: Then perhaps this will convince you. Say hello to my little friend. sfx: rapidly moving vapour Mardam: what is thy desire, my master? Astlegar: A genie? Blander: Kept snugly inside a coinpurse. Meet Mardam. This genie has been serving me for three years. Mardam: and I have also attempted to murder him as many times. Astlegar: Is that so? Mardam: I am a genie. Betrayal is in my nature. Blander: Mardam, this is Astlegar. He's new to the island, and could use a house. Create one for him. Mardam: By your command, my master. KHALED! sfx: pop! Khaled: Aw, Mardam! I was in the middle of the most wonderful dream. Mardam: Your power, Khaled. Khaled: You know, those ghasts in the lamp have a system set up where the genie doesn't even have to wake them up. They just... Mardam: (angrily) Khaled... Khaled: Fine, fine. (rushed and bored) May Oberon bear witness that I, the ghast of the ring, do relinquish my power to my master the genie of the coinpurse, yada yada yada... There. You're fueled up. Go for it. Mardam: Now then... let us create a palace! sfx: storm, clattering, clanging. becomes soft quickly, but continues. Astlegar: I know you, Blander. You don't give away anything unless you want something. Blander: Oh, I just wanted to show you how fantastic it is being a fairymaster. You could be one too, you know. I can teach you how. In fact, I can take you to the fairy realms and help you capture some of your own. There is a gateway, said to have been built by Oberon himself. All you would need to do is... Astelgar: AHA! I knew you needed something from me! Blander: Oh, all right! So I do need something from you. The gateway is controlled by stones. We've been able to determine that the gate opens onto nearly a billion different realms, each one selected by a placement of magical stones. We've spent weeks cataloguing them. And we've found that the higher we go, the more magical the realms become. But we don't have the one type of stone which we need to reach the highest dimensions. Astlegar: And you believe I have them? Blander: I know you do. We need Phonicite. Astlegar: Phonicite? Really? A magical mineral which only occurs naturally in my domain? Blander: Which was completely mined out by you. Astlegar: Just like you did with the Scotomite? Blander: Touche. Astelgar: why don't you just have your genie whip up some? Blander: Mardam! sfx: construction sounds cease Mardam: Master? Blander: Mardam, give me a phonicite stone. Mardam: As you wish. sfx: pop! Blander: There you go. One Phonicite stone. Astlegar: You call that phonicite? It's barely even red at all. Blander: And it won't work. Phonicite must have its own magic. This one is full of genie magic. Astlegar: So you need me. But why should I help you? Blander: Because we know that somewhere in this vast multiverse is a land so steeped in magic that it makes this island seem utterly mundane. You came here to increase your power. No, don't deny it. We all did. If this island can make you like a titan, then that realm can make you like a god! Astlegar: I'm in. Blander: Mardam, please continue with the home of our new... partner. Scene 3: Astlegar's palace Narrator: Astlegar quickly moves into his palace , bringing everything he owns with him. In his new home, Tristan continues to study in secret. Tristan: Okay, what's the book say to do next? Apply the egg of a male peacock... no need to do that. I've worked out a spell that completely takes the place of that component. Mouse: Are you sure these shortcuts are safe? Tristan: Of course I'm sure. In fact, there's really no need for physical components at all, except for the item being enchanted, of course. so I just say the words... "Klorange Nadger Fnox Pandoku Okoss Okotch" Gesture like this... and that... and there... and we have one fully functional dangerglass! Mouse: Uh, Tristan... what does it mean when the dangerglass turns black like that? Tristan: The master's home! HIDE! Astlegar: Tristan! Fetch me a bottle of wine and a bowl of vennison! I am worn! Tristan: At once, master. Astlegar: Rotten stinking Tierune! I'd put a curse upon their heads if they had heads. They managed to drive us back through the gate with only ten mages of their own. TEN! And then in the next world, five of us were turned into earthworms by a mushroom in a hat. How does a walking mushroom get that kind of power? And don't get me started on Falnar and that stupid horcrux pot of his. In the world of the talking rocks, he nearly... what is that? Tristan: what is what, Sir? Astlegar: That book on security charms. why is it sitting open on the windowledge? Tristan: I... I don't know, Sir. Perhaps you were using it earlier and forgot to put it away? Astlegar: (menacingly) what have you been doing, Tristan? Tristan: I... Nothing, Master! Astlegar: You've been reading this book, haven't you? Tristan: No! No, I... Astlegar: Don't lie to me, boy, or I'll turn you into a toad for a month! Tristan: Yes! Yes, sir. I've been reading your book. Astlegar: (quiet and cold) How long have you been able to read? Tristan: For years. Astelgar: And you've been studying my books without my consent? Tristan: (gaining courage) What choice have you left me? I'm supposed to be your apprentice. Yet you've never taught me a single spell. Instead, you... you've transformed me, you've beaten me, you've treated me worse than a slave. And I... Astlegar: (interrupts) What have you learned, boy? Tristan: I've learned to enchant things, Sir. Astlegar: To what level of proficiency? Tristan: Master. Astlegar: What? (assumes Tristan is addressing him.) Tristan: I've become a master enchanter. Astlegar: Do you think I'm stupid, boy, I would have noticed your equipment if you were doing master level enchantments. Tristan: (defiantly) I don't need equipment, Sir. I can enchant using spells alone. Astlegar: Prove it. Turn this bit of twine into a truth rope. Tristan: Zorzoxna incumbus dolby legitimus Jager orenverden floyb. Done. Astlegar: We'll see. The color of my robe is b.... red. It's red. B... B... RED! It worked. The truth rope won't let me lie. How did you do that without using a diamond? Tristan: The word "Jager" takes the place of any focussing gemstone. Astlegar: Very impressive. I believe you may well be ready for some... additional skills. But first, there is the little matter of your attitude. Tristan: Sir? Astlegar: No more of this studying behind my back. You need to remember who is master in this palace. I think fifty lashes ought to facilitate a more submissive attitude. Tristan: what? No! Master, please! I'm sorry! I won't... sfx: whip crack Tristan: AAAAUGH! Astlegar: Now there's a promising start. Scene 4: Oberon's gate Astlegar: Why in the world did you bring all of that stuff, boy? We'll be a few hours in the other world at most. Tristan: I know, Sir. But this is the most magical world ever discovered. I want to be prepared. Astlegar: Every single mage on the island is coming on this expedition. You don't think you'll be sufficiently protected? (sfx: wind blast) Tristan: Look, Sir. The gate has opened. Astlegar: I can see that, boy. I'm not blind. Tristan: After you, Sir. Astlegar: In a moment. Let the ogre twins go first. Politeness is often wasted, but never on an ogre mage. You'd do well to remember that. Blander: Mmm! Feel that, Astlegar? The magic here is so strong that you can feel it coursing through you! Astlegar: Ah, yes! Intoxicating, my friend. Tristan: Master, look out! There's a beast! Astlegar: Basilisk! Close your eyes! sfx: crackling Mage 1: SARPA INCENDIO! sfx: FA-THOOM! Mage 2: Is everyone all right? Blander: Everyone but astlegar's apprentice. Astlegar: Tristan, you idiot! Everyone knows not to stare directly at a basilisk! Now you've gone and gotten yourself turned into stone. Fool. Come on, everyone. We'll get him on the way back. No sense having an idiot in the party. Narrator: But Astlegar never returned. For centuries, Tristan stood there, silently. (16 min) Scene 5: The Chanel Narrator: The story now takes us to the present. It's a sunny day on the island. Tak, Blalok and Sayna are sailing around the island on a raft. Tak: Look at all the crabs down there! If I had brought some bananas and watermelon, we could have had a picnic. Sayna: Don't forget, we're eating at the icehouse. Tak: (hushed) I haven't forgotten. Just making sure this looks good. Keep talking, Blalok. Blalok: There's this thing that humans have called an inner net. They use it to communicate across vast distances. I've convinced some of our robot allies to lend us one of their machines which should be able to trunk onto the inner net. Sayna: "Trunk on"? Blalok: I think that was the term. Tak: You think you can operate the machine? Blalok: I doubt it. But I think Sam can. He used to use such machines in the human lands. He calls them Come-tutors. Sayna: What about Tim? Blalok: Too risky. Tim's mind doesn't have the safeguards that a natural mind has. While I trust HIM, he still presents the risk of exposure. Tak: Okay, so we can search for the lost magician. But what exactly are we looking for? I mean... we know WHAT he is, but not where or who. Sayna: Is there a chance that his memory might start coming back to him? If it does, then we... Tak: Quiet. There's someone swimming below us. sfx: splash Kahuna: Hi, everybody! Sayna: (disdainfully) Oh. It's you. Kahuna: Welcome to the chanel! Are you here to see me by any chance? Sayna: As if. Kahuna: Are you sure? I know this cozy little grotto where two otters could be alone to... Sayna: Will you stop?! When will you get it through your thick head that I am not interested in you, Kahuna? Kahuna: Perhaps when you actually mean it. Sayna: You little insect. I am going to... Tak: Hey, look. The gate's opening. Kahuna: What is that coming through? Blalok: It's a human. Tak: And he's injured! Kahuna, go get a doctor while we go over and help him. Kahuna: Aye-aye, skipper. sfx: rowing (18 min) Tristan: help... me... Blalok: It's all right. We're here to assist you. Tak: Your back is covered with scars! Who did this to you? Tristan: Close the gate. Sayna: But you opened it from the far side. Tristan: You have to close it! There are things on the other side! Tak: But it can't be closed from this side. Tristan: It can. Percidian. Place one percidian in the center of the control stone. Tak: Percidian? Tristan: Black stones. Blalok: We keep the stones on the other side of the chanel. Sayna: I see some scattered on the other side. I'll get one. Tristan: Hurry. Sayna: Here. Catch. sfx: roaring Sayna: Close it! CLOSE IT! sfx: roaring ceases Blalok: Looks like you could use some medical attention. Not to mention some clothing. Tristan: It's so different. There wasn't any water there before. And the hills are higher. The forest is thicker... and that mountain didn't have a waterfall. How long was I away? Tak: What are you talking about? Blalok: Wait... You've been here before? Before the chanel was formed? Tristan: Yes. Blalok: Son... You've been gone for well over a thousand years. Sayna: What's your name? Tristan: I'm Tristan. Astlegar's... I mean... Master enchanter. Tak: Well, Tristan master enchanter, if you feel up to it, I think we'd better get you to a doctor. Scene 6: Doctor Tektek's surgery Tektek: These wounds are fairly old. I can't find anything wrong with this boy except for severe dehydration. I've given him some water and milk. He'll be all right in a few hours. Oh, and I've also sent to the kushtaka village for some clothing. Blalok: Can we speak with him? Tektek: Sure. Just don't take him anywhere. Tak: Thanks, Doctor Tektek. Sayna: Hey, big guy. Are you all right? Tristan: I feel much better, thank you. But I'm confused. Where are all the wizards? Blalok: There haven't been wizards on this island for centuries. TaK: How did you end up here? I mean... now? If you're from so long ago? Tristan: I was turned to stone. Sayna: Stone? Tristan: I found I could move, but very very slowly. I managed to create a stone-to-flesh charm and change myself back to normal, but... (moment of realization) Oh... I really AM in the future. Everything I knew is gone. My family... mouse... Astlegar... well, I won't miss HIM too much. Who lives here now? Tak: You're looking at them. Tristan: I want to see my home. Sayna: The doctor says that you shouldn't go anywhere. Tristan: Please. I need to see my home. I must see it now! Blalok: I'm not an expert on humans, but as I recall, you lot generally don't go outside looking like that. Tristan: Oh. Right. A thousand years takes its toll on cloth. Not a problem. Hand me a rock, please. Tak: What are you going to do with it? Tristan: (mumbles) Sayna: Would you look at that? Tristan: I've turned the rock into a falseform charm. As long as I'm holding it, I'll look like one of you. Blalok: Well... um... Okay, then. Scene 7: Farm Village Tristan: This part looks familiar. Yes... this road was here in my day. Right here, where the road forks. This is where my master's casle was. My quarters were right there, where that burrow is. Who lives here now? Tak: At the moment, nobody. There used to be a little girl who lived here, but she moved out only a few weeks ago. (22 min) sfx: door opening Sayna: I don't think you should be going inside. Tristan: These things... These are my things! Blalok: But your castle has been gone for... Tristan: Centuries. Yes, I know, but these are my things! I made these! Well, not all of them. There are things here I don't recognize. But look... The monkey mirror! I made this as a birthday gift for Agne the witch. It will turn you into anything you ask, but never the way you want it. Ha ha! Oh, I hated Agne. I can't believe this is all still here. And you say a little girl lived here? Blalok: Yes. Tristan: This was no little girl. Whoever lived here was a magician, and an impressive one at that. Look at this! A darklight sword! Who in their right mind gives a little girl a darklight sword? Mouse: Hello, Tristan. Tristan: Mouse? Mouse, is that you? Mouse: If you are watching this, it means that I am long gone. Blalok: What happened? Sayna: That bone on the table just started glowing and then this image appeared... Mouse: I'm glad that you've returned, anyway. I never did find out what happened to you. You left the island that day, you and all of the other wizards, and you never came back. The good news is that I've learned a few enchantments myself. I've programmed this bone to play this message in your presence. I've left the island. Gone to another dimension. Not that I didn't want to wait for you, but I was getting rather lonely. I'm married, now. I have seven beautiful kids. I've instructed them to bring this bone back to the castle upon my death. Tristan: Oh, mouse. Mouse: It's nice, here. There was a problem for a little while with food being scarce, but then this nice male dryad moved in and he takes care of us now. His name is Nexicul. I wish you could meet him. He's so kind and friendly. He reminds me of you. Tak: (hushed) Oh no. Mouse: I'm sorry I couldn't say good bye to you in person. But if you'd like to meet my kids, here's the gate address. I hope you can see it clearly. Goodbye, Tristan. And thank you. For my mind, and for everything. Tristan: Would you please excuse me? I'd like to be alone. Scene 8: Amy's cafe Tak: I'll have a bowl of strawberries and a baked plantain. Blalok: I'm not very hungry. Just a few shrimp for me. Sayna: And a bowl of raw eggs for me. Waiter: Got it. Amy! Gold n' rubies, a mini and three henfruit, juicy! Tak: Hey, there's Snij! Snij, come join us! (pause) Sayna: Perhaps he didn't hear you. Tak: He heard me. I don't know what it is with that guy. He's a heck of a farmer, but he's suchh a recluse. Blalok: I have a neighbor like that. Bogo the salmon herder. Sayna: Speaking of new neighbors, do you think Tristan will be all right? Tak: Ask him yourself. Here he comes. Tristan: Hello, friends. Blalok: Hello, Tristan. We were just wondering how you were holding up. Tristan: Better than I expected myself to. I've made a decision. I want to stay here. (pause) Tristan: Is something wrong? I know I don't fit in as a human, but I've decided to make my transformation permanent. Sayna: It's not that, Tristan. It's simply that... Blalok: You are a magician. Tristan: Of course. Blalok: There are only ten magicians on the island at any given time. Tristan: Why? Tak: Just the way it's always been. Sayna: We lost a magician recently. No one quite knows how. But if you're staying, then he's probably not coming back. Tristan: I don't mean to displace anyone. Tak: You're not displacing anyone. We don't really even know who it was. We just one day counted our magicians and came up one short. Tristan: You mean you literally lost one? (conversation begins to fade) Sayna: Strange, isn't it? Blalok: You'll need to speak to the queen. We can go and do that after lunch. (all noise fades out) Spy: Come on... pick up! Nexicul: Who disturbs me? Spy: It's Fanomel. I have news you need to know. Nexicul: Speak. Spy: The otters remember the magician whom you removed. Nexicul: Are you absolutely certain? Spy: I am. They pretended that they didn't but they made a mistake. They called him "he". Nexicul: That could simply be an indefinite term. Spy: Not in Islandish, Sir. Nexicul: Well done. You will be richly rewarded when my plan is complete. Scene 9 Oren's office (should include appropriate IM effects) Oren: (groans) Oh, geez! My neck! My everything for that matter. Don't want to get out of bed, but I need to start the radio station up. (music plays, then fades to low volume) Ashen: Good morning, Oren. Oren: Hi, Ashen. How'd you know I was up? Ashen: I heard your radio station start up. Oren: Oh yeah. Ashen: How are you doing? Oren: Miserable. I'm having the most terrible nightmares. Ashen: You want to talk about them? Oren: I'm being pursued by a demonic tree. I know it sounds stupid, but it's terrifying. It's sending its roots out after me to try to suck out my soul. It's also threatening my friends. I turn to face it in order to rescue my friends, but then the tree just grins at me and shows me what it has in its hand. Ashen: Which is? Oren: My face. Ashen: That's creepy! But it is only a dream. Oren: I'm not so sure, Ash. It felt so real. I don't scare very easily, you know that. But this thing has me terrified! Epilogue Tak: Hello. I'm Tak. Sayna: and I am Sayna. Tak: We just want to remind you that we are actors and professional stunt animals. Sayna: It may seem like fun to experiment with powerful magic, but trust us, magic is best left to professional magicians. Tak: So please don't try any of the spells you've heard tonight at home. It's a good way to put out an eye. Sayna: Or sprout one. Tak: That's all the time we have for today. Join us next time when we check in with Tristan again. Sayna: And learn the secret of sam the conjurer. Tak: And at least one character won't survive! Sayna: What?! Tak: well, it's true. Sayna: This bit is supposed to take the edge off of the drama. Not serve as an omen of doom! Tak: Oh. uh... And we get to meet a bunch of funny little aquatic moles as they flee for their lives. Sayna: Slightly better. Good night, everyone. Tak: Join us for episode eight, right here on OtterTunes!